This is the I'll have a bottle of the house white piece and the joke lands fast. Five lines of chunky navy block caps stack down the left side. The first row reads i'll have a, the second row drops Bottle in much bigger letters, then of the in smaller text below, then House White wrapping the bottom in big bold caps again. Letters all got that slightly rounded retro sign feel.
A pale dusty blue baby bottle sits on the right hand side, ivory cap on top with a navy ribbed band, vertical measurement lines down the front. Two warm rust orange arrows shoot across the layout, one through the centre and one along the bottom. Two small orange stars float beside the bottle. Honestly its the wine joke parents always make on the first night home with a newborn, kinda just translated into a stitchable piece.
I made this one for new parent gift bags since people keep ordering it for baby announcement onesies. One mum sent me a photo wearing a matching tee while feeding her little one and the bib version on the baby, kinda the funniest thing ive seen this year. Customers been digitising onto cotton receiving blankets too.
Five colour count which keeps the file simple, no thread juggling. 27k stitches at full size means a dense satin run on the lettering. Use a heavy cutaway stabiliser. Hoop firm cotton or cotton blend. Skip thin jersey because theres dense block caps pulling the fabric flat.
Nine sizes from 3.5 to 7.5 inches wide. Thats a wide range, use the smallest for bibs and biggest for blanket panels. Reach me on whatsapp if a panel reads soft at the edges.
What people are using this design for
A starting point. The design works for plenty more than just this list, this is what folks have stitched it onto most.
- Newborn announcement onesiesA medium size on a white cotton onesie makes a punny baby announcement piece for the social media post.
- Hospital welcome bibsStitched on a soft cotton bib in cream the joke reads loud at the hospital welcome home photo session.
- Cotton receiving blanketsOn a thick cotton receiving blanket the navy lettering sits well against natural unbleached fabric.
- Parent and baby tee setsPair the onesie version with a matching tee for the parent so the gag photographs as a real family set.
- Diaper bag canvas frontsA larger version on a canvas diaper bag front turns the boring nappy carrier into a real punchline piece.
- First night home pyjamasStitched on soft jersey pyjamas in pale grey the design suits a sleepy first night home with a brand new baby.
- Maternity ward gift setsA bunch of small ones on pastel onesies make a funny maternity ward gift set for the staff nurses.
- Cotton burp cloth cornersStitch a tiny version into the corner of a flannel burp cloth so the gag travels with the gift bag.
Dimensions
9 sizes included. Stitch counts shown for the largest colorway.
| Size (in) | Stitches |
|---|---|
| 3.51 × 3.00 in | 12,525 |
| 4.01 × 3.43 in | 14,240 |
| 4.51 × 3.86 in | 15,964 |
| 5.01 × 4.29 in | 17,816 |
| 5.51 × 4.72 in | 19,526 |
| 6.00 × 5.14 in | 21,443 |
| 6.50 × 5.57 in | 23,378 |
| 7.00 × 6.00 in | 25,277 |
| 7.50 × 6.43 in | 27,139 |
Files & Formats
Eight machine formats included in one zip. Whichever your machine reads, its in the pack.
Plus a color chart for thread matching. See full format guide.
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About the artist
Reyazul Masud Riham, hand-drawing every design on this site
Every design on Re Embroidery is hand-digitized by one person. Each file gets sketched, color-matched, and stitch-tested on real fabric before it earns a place in the shop. No team. No auto-conversion from images. Just slow, deliberate work, sometimes three or four days per design.
That's the joy I work for.
The hard part is finding my designs re-uploaded and resold elsewhere. So when you buy from Re Embroidery, you're paying one real person for the file you're about to download. That matters.
